You can't share what you don't know you have...

Man...the message at church this morning was one of those that had my mind and heart whirling. A LOT jumped out at me, but there was one that stood out and got me thinking down a lot of conduits in my life.

The message was about love, and my pastor mentioned that he'd been assuming, until recently, that the bulk of the all the gifting and effort around Christmas was motivated by love, as opposed to other things. 

I've made some serious assumptions about the people around me myself. I've been profoundly blessed with healthy, positive, supportive and long-lasting relationships. Not saying I don't have some rotten ones hanging on and popping up every now and again, but the good ones create the foundation of my life...and when you have something that's too constant, it's WAY easier to forget it's even there. Kind of like oxygen or a heartbeat. Doesn't sound like too big a deal, but forgetting blessings doesn't just mean I'm shorting God some thanks. When I forget the beauty of what I have, I forget what I have to share with others. 

...and I tend to assume they have the same things I do. Every week I realize a bit more how much this world of business can deprive its members of healthy, relationship based lives. How much "time off with friends and family" is just something to be scheduled, checked off, and recounted for a few minutes the morning back after a vacation. It's not just an expectation, it's a part of the culture. Rejecting that culture will cause loss. It will. The system just isn't set up to let people have it both ways. It benefits from people who are willing to sacrifice relationships and personal health. 

It's nice though, to see more options in telecommuting and job design so that people can satisfy their roles as workers but not lose touch with the communities that they're a part of.  

Does God care about my black socks?

A few years back I was in a discussion with a friend of mine that was new to the faith about what in life God really cares about. She asked my opinion and I said I didn't believe that God gave us specific guidance on everything...like what color socks to wear. She said she needed to believe that he cared about even the minutia.

This question's been bopping around my head ever since and I just received some clarity on it...or at least some clarity on my misdirection on the answer.

The sock example...I was rating things big to small...as if God cared about huge things, but not little...kind of like what we human-folk do. But sometimes...I've gotten guidance on little things that seemed little to me, but made all the difference in the purpose he has for me, and put way too much effort (physical, mental, spiritual) into big things (that would be home ownership recently...I don't know how many times he told me not to worry about it and that I can make a decision on my own...it took me forever to really accept that.)

This walk is nothing like I thought it would be. It's much more amazing.

An atheist gave me something to think about...

This is a video of Penn Jillette (of the comedic duo Penn and Teller) discussing a man that gave him a Bible. What he says at 3:00 really got me thinking...you HAVE to love people to genuinely witness to them. There simply are no other options. No other paths. No other reasons. Not guilt. Not fear. Not peer pressure. Not habit. Not ego. I Corinthians 13 really does lay it all out.




I also found it compelling that he noticed that the man genuinely cared (people can tell whether you're talking to them, or at them), that the man was sane (they know that too) and that the man was paying attention to who he was (again...to, not at). I don't believe that you have to know someone to witness to them, but it seems to be a frequent component. This man didn't know Penn Jillette personally, but he knew his work and enjoyed it.

I...am in the lives of the people I am for a reason.

Make that Change

This blog has been quite a bit harder to maintain than my others. I can just put what I want over there, but this one...different ballgame. I feel like there's more to take into consideration.

I was sitting at my desk yesterday at work, thinking back on who I was when I started working. There's no way I would have thought I'd still be with the same company 7 years later, and yet, I am. Same job, same living situation, same church...and yet things seem so different. I've changed a lot as a person, as a friend, in my walk with God, financially, as an employee, physically...just all around. Looking back on the process of change that God's been working me through, I'm coming to have better perspective on the need for patience in the Christian life. 

Patience isn't just waiting on God to bring you something or do something. Sure, sometimes it is, but, at least in my life, it's most frequently been following patiently as God walks me through a process of personal change and improvement. I've underestimated how long it takes to make real, lasting change in a human life, and especially in mine.


II Corinthians 3
    1 Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like
some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? 2 You
yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by
everybody. 3 You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of
our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living
God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.


I've also underestimated how personal change and growth...even salvation are. The letter that has been written to us...the letter that we are is custom made for our lives and for the part God has designed us to play in this world. 

Zombies and Christianity

I saw this on the High Calling and HAD to read it...yes...because of the title. No, I'm not a zombie-enthusiast.  It's a stretch, but it makes some good points and asks these questions that I wanted to try to answer...

http://www.thehighcalling.org/faith/fighting-zombies-try-eat-your-brains

1.    What do you think zombies represent?
2.    When do you most feel like you're turning into a zombie?
3.    Where do the zombies congregate in your life?
4.    How can God and your community protect you?

1. Zombies represent any area of my life where I'm moving without purpose and true motivation. Any area where I'm following my base nature and nothing more.

2. Lately...food. Normally I'd say work, but I've been doing really well eating purposefully for the past...3 years or so. My job's been kind of stressful lately though, and while it's only one meal a day, lunch has just been out the window lately...all kinds of bready, saucy, fatty, sugary treats that serves as mid-day entertainment and distraction from stress. 

3. Career (it's easy to fall prey to what I "should" be doing at...whatever age)...food...shopping habits (generally within my budget, but do I really need another pair of shoes? Even REALLY cute ones?)

4. Fighting off "zombies" is all about staying conscious of what you're doing with your time and resources. I know it's pretty heavily debated, but tithing...especially when it's extended to areas beyond money (like time and relationships), is...I've found...at the very least...a good reminder of how to proportion your life, and how much of a difference a small "investment" can make. It's also a good way to establish "inconveniencing" yourself...which is BIG for me in the area of time. If I'm selfish with anything, it's my time. I have a really twisted relationship with the clock (hate being late, love watches, hate being on a schedule, love making them) and it can be crazy difficult for me to make time for anything that's not part of my zombie habit....even rest. 

Jerk Love

"My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. ²Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. ³If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," ⁴have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

James 2: 1-4

We've been doing James in Bible study (I'm liking it!!). It's my favorite book...a heavy, sometimes painful book, but what can I say...I like straightforward:) There's a constant ebb and flow between the concrete and the abstract, which I believe is one of the core points of the book...and possibly even why James' statements seem to come out of nowhere in certain points. Well, tonight was chapter 2 and we were covering the concept of discrimination and prejudice. The book addresses it from a point of income, but as my pastor pointed out, it can be extrapolated into other areas...for me that was personality. He joked (I...think...) that I was given the gift of dealing with jerks. I really think they get discriminated against. I know I've always gravitated toward...edgier personalities...friends, relatives, hobbies, TV characters (which is why I think there was something deeper than humor behind what he said). It's something I understand. I have a personality that's quite a few degrees less than "warm and snuggly" and I know what it's like to be misunderstood on that level, so it's generally easy for me to look past some of the thorns and pricklies that people carry around with them.

I really have to say though...there are a LOT of "impoverished" personalities in my life right now. Maybe more than ever before and recently there's been even more of an up-tick. I also have to say that my reactions have not be the best. Jerks come in a pretty wide range of intensities. Some just have, let's say, "misguided" senses of humor. Other's are generally predatory on weaker personalities, and those are the ones that get to me. (Especially since in studying martial arts, I've put/found myself in a position of weakness.) But, as my aunt says "Hurt-people hurt people." I have to keep reminding myself of this. It is not my right to pass judgement on people's actions...even if they hurt me or others. 

Fear is a funny thing...

Well...kinda. Just got back from a great Bible study that hit home in one of those positive, painful-growth educing ways.

It made me realize a lot about my attitudes toward my work life. For the longest time, I've admired figures like Joseph and Moses who were brought through long periods of difficulty to excel in areas in which they weren't necessarily gifted. Well, it hit me that as much as I KNEW they went through difficulty to grow, and as much as I KNEW God brought them success without natural gifts, I had distanced that part from my life and focused only on the happy/successful ending. 

I've wondered for a while now, why, after much prayer and study and skill development, God had led me into a field that's deep with requirement of those things that, well, I'm not so good at. There's just...attention to detail and repetitious work EVERYWHERE in my industry. I've gotten better at both, but still not good at either. And that's where the fear comes in. This is a fear that's likely a burden to anyone that's "used to" being good at things. I've recently been given a more challenging assignment...an assignment that requires more attention to detail and repetition...and as much as I protest that I don't want to give up quality of life or work-life balance or my sanity, my concern over taking the position is really based in fear that I won't be able to do it. It's a fear that despite all I CAN do, that this job is just too full of what I CAN'T for me to make it through. 

To steal a quote from Bible study via Billy Graham:

"Mountaintops are for views and inspiration, but fruit is grown in the valleys."

So yeah...I know this is where the growth happens. While I've learned to trust that God is growing me, and not punishing me or leaving me to crash and burn, it's another feat altogether to find peace in difficulty. BUT...and this is a big one. I've been blessed with some wonderful mountaintops in other areas of my life, which, for the first time, I can see quite clearly despite being in a temporary valley.