Politics is killing American Christianity.

I'm 99% sure of that.

My cousin texted me today, telling me that she's reluctant to get involved with her church because she knows she's going to run into that "Republican Wall" (my words)...any Christian who doesn't bleed GOP red has run into it. It's deeper than just a disagreement and it casts a shadow long before you run into it. It's the reason that, every Thanksgiving and Christmas, I see people posting on the Facebook wall of the Christian Left, asking for ways to cope with their relatives' political assaults or prejudicial talk.

It's the speculation that comes when you hear someone say "I'm a Christian." It's the mistrust of the Ichthus fish on the back of a car. It's that feeling that eventually, if you continue to create deeper relationships without your church buddies, that you'll be faced with someone assuming you're a staunch Republican because you own a Bible. As my cousin said "It means I can never share my life with them." It's deeper than just political differences because, from what I've found, precious few on either side choose to draw distinction whatsoever between their political leanings and their faith. I'm not one to believe that one's faith is meant to be 100% separate from the way you vote, but I do believe that certainty about where God lies in the political system is arrogance in one of its ugliest forms and an affront to the body of Christ. Yes, both sides are guilty, but I have to say I see many more infractions from the Right. I dread any conversation turning political. Any mention of President Obama. Any talk of guns. Because then the relationship stops progressing down a path of revelation and turns to one of conflict and unlikely resolution.

Newest member of club Kindle.

I've had this beef for a while...it probably struck me hardest though, not when a woman bounced jauntily into Bible study with a Tea Party sign after a rally in 2007, but instead when talking about the US population and imigrants, another lady remarked "They're starting to out number us. We have to do something about it." What struck me most about that, is that she thought to even make the comment to me in the first place. It was a conversation between the two of us, so it wasn't a case of "oops, didn't realize there was a minority present". The first thing I thought was "This woman has absolutely no concern for me as an individual, because if she had, she would hold her tongue at the possibility that I were an immigrant or even for the sake that I'm a minority period."

It disturbs me...the whole thing...and I didn't realize how deeply ingrained it was in me. A while back at the gym, I ran into a guy. He constantly berates homosexuals in whispered tones to guys he knows won't object. I've heard his son doing the same thing. I immediately assumed him to be Christian, because, well, hateful speech at that level seems to have become the norm for conservative members of the church.

Then I found out he was an athiest. I was confused. I stereotype atheists as being open-minded and at least, tolerant (something that is quite untrue). It hit me then, how deeply some experiences had shaped my opinion of the conservative Christian. Don't get me wrong, I have conservative Christian friends who are great people and don't need politics to define themselves. They are special people though, whose personal stumbling blocks don't seem to be bigotry and apathy toward other humans.

It all makes me wonder if we can get past this, both as a country, and more importantly, as a faith. I saw again last night how deeply it affects me when I prayed for these people and it was hard.

"This church sure is...quiet"

Apparently, that's what my newly married mother was told by a childhood friend after she came to visit my father's church years before I was born. My mother, she was raised Methodist...which is part of the reason we as children were allowed to use playing cards (my brother and I taught ourselves poker and blackjack...thank you World Book) and why she was the one who introduced me to alcohol and my brother to cigarettes when we first became curious as children--little bro chickened out on trying the borrowed, lit cigarette just as she put it to his mouth, and I writhed in 8 year old pain at the shot of vodka she'd poured when I asked what was in the bottle my father's job had given him for Christmas. (There may be no link, but to this day neither of us are big users of either alcohol or tobacco.) But yes...she was Methodist...African Methodist Episcopal to be exact--a denomination that is more permissive, and quieter in worship than your traditional Baptist church. Which must mean the Baptist church I came up in was pretty non-traditional when I was a child, because I remember relative calm and none of the fast-paced praise music and dance that most people think of when they think "Black Church". As Bart Simpson once said "Black God rules!"

So today I was leaving church and was walking out with one of the other Black people that shows up to church...the service I attend, and the church as a whole is predominately White with a few Blacks, Latinos and Asians floating around. One thing is particular to Black people though...while other races are likely foreign and new to Christianity, it's pretty safe to assume that if you run into a Black person in a White church, they're making a religious adjustment just as you are. So we talked and he explained why and how he started attending the church and how he wished his wife would come, but that she was apprehensive about the racial differences. I began talking about my own adjustment...from the music to the minority status, and he  continued on, letting me that while his wife was Baptist and used to a high energy service, he was Methodist and found more familiarity and comfort with a subdued worship experience. I immediately thought of the first time I attended church with my apostolic boyfriend's (at the time) family. I was completely overwhelmed. It was loud...louder than I'd ever experienced. People were running and screaming, drums beating...it was LONG. I've gotten used to hour long services...3 and 4 hour services feel like endurance races now.

But yes...while I do think there are lines easily drawn dividing Black and White Christian experiences in the US, today was a reminder that sometimes, race gets trumped by other things. 

Hurt feelings and an off morning

Sundays sans church have become weird for me. My alarm went off this morning and was greeted by a lovely case of vertigo. By the time I stumbled out of my bedroom, Melissa Harris Perry's show was on MSNBC.

I'm really enjoying it and hope it has a long life on the channel...it's simultaneously smart, deep, relevant and light, covering everything from the impact of the death of the Notorious B.I.G. to economic policy reform. Harris-Perry, a professor at Tulane, is openly Mormon and liberal. One would expect to to hear explanations of Palm Sunday and quotations from the book of Samuel from more conservative stations, but no, this was happening, and does happen, on the most liberal of the cable news stations. 

I believe Harris-Perry is a bit of a special case...being Black, the world expects her to be a member of the faithful, despite political alliance...and I think she opens up an important door in Christianity. The one labeled "Liberal Christian"...or at least "not-Republican Christian." She facilitates the discussion of faith in politics from a seldom-heard perspective and has kicked off the discussion of how liberals can frame political discussions around faith, an area where they are particularly weak. 

I've watched the Christian Left since their inception as an organization jump, dive and parry with the Christian right over many issues, hoping that, even in their occasional misguided steps (there are quite a few issues and concepts I disagree with them on), they would redirect the focus of what it means to be Christian in America toward something deeper than a shared cultural expereince. I saw this morning's show and discussions of climate change policy as a function of Biblical stewardship as a step in that direction. 

One point she made was in reference to the way Rick Santorum, the candidate with the most religious platform, speaks. She made the very accurate observation that his speech is very much centered around his own people and protecting his own kind. I knew exactly what she was saying.

Why does it ring true for me? Well, I feel a lot of personal dislike for my kind and widespread disregard for humanity in general from the Right. I'm no Democrat, but the all-too-frequent cries of pro-life in the same breath as being pro-war and pro-death sentence strikes me leaves me questioning the party's true overreaching values and unable to see ties to some of the most important and self-sacrificing tenants of Christianity. 

That point though, is still a bit removed. I get reminders every now and then of the hearts of some of those who claim the title of Christianity in my life. Those reminders hurt on multiple levels. The Trayvon Martin case has been the most recent instance. I saw too many people entirely too willing to bear false witness in the form of doctored articles about the dead teen passed around Facebook. Normally, I stay out of these frays. Good seldom comes from detached arguments in cases like these, but one of the pictures passed around was an outright lie and had been outed as such by the creator. I responded briefly to one post, mentioning that it was a fake, and saying that I had learned a lot about all the people around me, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Black, White, Asian, Gay, Straight and otherwise, by how they responded to the case. The response was that I was too hastily judging and that I couldn't know people's hearts (mind you, I didn't post what I actually thought of anyone). 

I gave that some thought, and I quite confidently believe that to be untrue. Luke 6:45 tells us that "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks". That is where my issue with the Republican party lies...it's deeper than seeing general disdain for people who have my skin color. It lies in the core of policy and attitudes. I still though, do not measure individuals by the groups they align themselves with...people's reasons for joining things are just too broad, and anyone could find many faults with me for being a contributing member of the Christian church...my problem, is that I see callousness in policy and that same callousness in too many Christian individuals who are members of said party. 

I say all that to say that all churches and individuals, The Christian Left and The Christian Right, need to put down the political box they want to put God in. He's much bigger than either side. 

Why Good Christian Bitches doesn't bother me.

No I haven't read it and I probably won't watch it once the show is out. In all honesty, I'm just talking about the title and the premise, which seems to be what's freaking people out the most. Long story short, it's a supposedly comedic and critical work based loosely on the life of a Christian socialite, written by the ex-wife of one of the Gatlin Brothers. I did however, go and read a few of the criticisms and praises and complaints and blogs on it. Of everything I read, nothing bothered me...except the people who were offended. I had to ask why...why are they REALLY upset.

I understand the twinges of pain that come from when your faith is being criticized. I also understand all too well the twinges that come when your culture is being insulted, which is what I really think is sticking in the collective craw. No, not all Christian women are Dallas socialites, but many have little nuggets of aspiration to achieve at least part of that type of life, and many engage in or support the very behavior that's being addressed. That said, I believe many Christians are making a huge mistake in their responses. The concept of an enemy's enemy equaling a friend is one that runs deep across many cultures, and taking offense at the simple use of the word "Christian" or even the criticism of a culture that has decided on Christianity as its religion of choice is effectively validating the equation of "Christian" with, in this case, superficial, catty, soul-crushing, gossipy women. We must be careful to distinguish between our faith being criticized and when a culture is, because what we defend, we condone.

...kind of like that mother that jumps to her child's defense even when they're blatantly wrong.

On a personal level, I realized that I am even more culturally disconnected from the group that's being criticized than I realized. So disconnected that I felt pangs of insult not from the existence of the book itself, but more from the wagons that I know will be circled (and have been circled) in reaction to the work. Yes, Christians are unfair game for ridicule in today's popular culture, but I see very little effort by many Christians to distance themselves from the things that draw the bulk of the ridicule. In a case like this, I do not think the hatred is what was referred to in John 15:18. I don't often hear Christians being criticized for being too peaceful, too joyous, too loving, too faithful, too kind, gentle or self-controlled. (Too abstinent...that I do hear). I will admit though, that my race changes my exposure, because in the US, Blacks are expected to be church-goers...but still, I think the foul being called by Christians is off-base. Nietzsche disliked Christianity for what it is...teachings of caring for the weak and the poor. I see little of that in the mainstream ridicule of Christians today (though it does exist). Instead there is mass criticism, rooted in response to things that need to be cleaned out anyway.

There is an opportunity for Christians at foot. There is an opportunity for Christians to distance ourselves from all the dirt and grime that being the powerful majority in a powerful country can bring. An opportunity to clean house and return to the Christian roots that new Churches in places such as China and India are tending so well. I genuinely wonder if people will stop indulging their umbrage and surprise, and take a look.

Oh, and the "Bitches"? Well, that was changed to "Belles" for the TV series...which I really don't think is much better, just less profane.

Apparently, Black churches don't have youth groups.

So I ran across this guy's videos today. I'd never heard of "Messy Mondays" until a friend made me aware (through Facebook of course)...





He's a little really high energy, but I'm enjoying his sarcasm. About 15 minutes after getting stuck in a loop of his videos, I ran across this one on youth groups.


I watched. I laughed. I couldn't relate. Don't get me wrong, I get the "coming of age" deal that comes with being a kid in church. The single most massive crush of my life happened there. This dude made my stomach do back flips and was the last man to truly make me nervous.

But yeah...I realized that my youth in a Black church was WAY different than what goes on in White churches. I always kinda knew this...I went to a predominately White school and the church stuff they would talk about was completely foreign. We didn't do games or trips or the like. Well...MAYBE in Sunday school, but it wasn't ever anything major. We mostly worked in groups. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of teenage hormones to go around, lots of hugging and the "side hug" had not yet been invented, but apparently there was more supervision and less freedom (what I think is a direct effect of hippie culture never hitting the Black church).

I don't think the reason is anything more complicated than the fact that Black churches are just more formal than White. Look at the clothes, the seating, even the schedules and service formats...much more structured, much less loose. The funny thing is, neither approach seems to make much of a difference regarding sexual behavior or subsequent adult involvement in the church. Makes ya wonder...

Putting Politics Above Faith

I just started posting on race and this subject, I think, is one of the biggest sources of soreness and division between different races of Christians (within races too actually). Maybe it's a weakness on my part, but when a fellow church goer approaches me (or sends me an email) and begins demonizing democrats/liberals/socialists, I IMMEDIATELY put up a spiritual wall (among others). I don't even classify myself as one of those three, but the assumption of agreement alone I find extremely off-putting.

I'll be honest--I receive these exclusively from White, Republican/conservative contacts. Don't get me wrong, I get some pretty...um..."irksome" forwards from Black, Democrat/liberal contacts too, but for the life of me I don't remember one being based on a political party.

I don't like re-posting the work of others, but a friend sent me this and considering the number of blatantly false emails I receive from believers who seem to have no problem bearing false witness against people they've deemed the enemy or people God has allowed to be in power, I felt it was warranted. I was originally published here. Two points jump out at me...

1) That forwarding blatantly false emails involve doing two of the things God hates and
2) "Just forwarding" something doesn't absolve the sender of responsibility any more than it would in the case of gossip.


Here's the post...

As campaign season begins to heat up, I am preparing to find more of those crazy political e-mails in my in-box. They often come from an unsuspecting source, such as a childhood friend or a brother-in-law, and they’ve forwarded it to everyone in their contact list. You know the ones I’m talking about, the ones that spin fantastical tales of malicious gossip about some prominent politician.

A few years ago, I received an e-mail about how the Clintons had murdered Vince Foster, along with dozens of their political enemies who had also died under mysterious circumstances, such as cancer and old age. I also have gotten an e-mail informing me that George W. Bush “masterminded” the 9/11 attacks in order to start a war on terrorism. If that were true, I only wish he had spent a tenth of his time masterminding the occupation of Iraq.

No one has been the subject of these scurrilous e-mails more than President Obama. In the virtual world, he was born in Kenya, went to school at a Madrassa, will not pledge allegiance to the United States, used a Koran to be sworn into office, and is a socialist, communist, terrorist, fascist, Black Panther, Black Muslim, and the anti-Christ.

Recently, a sweet Christian woman sent me an e-mail comparing President Obama with Hitler and the rise of the Fourth Reich. This “theory” was attributed to a friendly looking professor (his photo was included) under the subject line “What if he’s right?” Of course, he isn’t right. In fact, he didn’t even say it. According to Snopes, this professor disavowed all knowledge of the e-mail and the original source was traced to an anonymous poster on a right wing blog.

It does not surprise me that there are political operatives who are not above smearing their opponents. What is disturbing is that otherwise good people have no reservations about perpetuating these kinds of vicious lies. When I’ve confronted people with the fact that their e-mail is not true, the general reaction is to slough it off, as if they are absolved of all responsibility since they merely forwarded it. Or, somehow, the rules don’t apply if it is about some prominent person who they don’t agree with politically.

The Bible is very clear about how it views this type of behavior, no matter what the excuse may be. There are several verses in the Bible about submitting to our appointed leaders. (Romans 13: 1, 1st Peter 2: 13 and 14, Hebrews 13: 17). In Titus 3:1 and 2, Paul tells us, “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to do whatever is good,to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.”

By doing a little fact checking and applying some common sense, most of these e-mails can easily be proven to be factually wrong. “Forwarders” are not only abdicating their responsibility to seek the truth, they are engaging in the act of spreading rumors and possibly giving false testimony. Willfully participating in this behavior hits on at least two of the six things the Lord hates. “…a false witness who pours out lies, and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.” (Proverbs 6:19)

So why do nice people so readily forward these hate-filled missives? Most of the ones I’ve seen are written to play on preexisting prejudges and fears. Like watching a scary movie, the reader willfully suspends their disbelief in order to participate in the narrative of the (fictional) story, such as being persecuted by an evil, oppressive force. Of course, this has the result of demonizing the other side and creating an even deeper divide in families, communities, and the country.

The participator of these campaigns are also allowing themselves to be deceived in another way…Many of these e-mails have embedded “cookies,” allowing the host sender to track each forwarded e-mail. This enables the originator to build a list of active addresses, which they can then sell to spammers.

When someone sends out an e-mail to all their friends, they are not only giving the gift of spam, they are also becoming willful participants in a very real form of gossip, deception, and character assassination. Based on scripture, these “forwarders” are putting their politics above their religion. Perhaps they should ask themselves, do they really want to be on the side that is willing to spread lies to win an election? If so, what does that say about their politics – and their religion?

When in doubt, it’s always good to go back to what Jesus tells us, “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.” (Matthew 12: 36) And don’t get Jesus started on the larger issue of judging others. “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7: 2)

So, crazy e-mail forwarders, consider yourselves warned…If I read that Barrack Obama is a member of the Illuminati or Mitt Romney has a secret family in Canada, I am obligated to let you know that this behavior is not acceptable. Paul tells us, “For those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.” (1st Timothy 5:20) I’m not sure, but that may mean I am supposed to “reply all,” and that’s just going to be awkward for everyone.

White Hug, Black Handshake

So it's time to shift this blog. I kinda knew it was coming since my Brazilian jiu jitsu blog has shifted recently too to more of a business focus.

I'd still like it to stay relatively focused, so I'm taking a step back from one topic that I think doesn't have much left for me to explore personally...singleness. Not that there isn't more to discuss, but I've come to a few "conclusions" that don't think merit too much more writing...

• God doesn't intend for everyone to be married, regardless of what family, national or church culture says
• The social and church focus on marriage flies directly in the face of the many Biblical examples of singles serving God
• Christians are just as susceptible to marrying for social, superficial and downright stupid reasons as non-believers, and we're subject to the same repercussions (though God can help you through)
• Neither status is inherently morally superior to the other and both offer special opportunities for growth
• We segregate too much
• Neither understands the other well and everybody needs to talk more 

In its place, I want to address race. Why? Because churches are insanely segregated (something I think is culturally based, but I think we as Christians should be able to grow past) and I have some unique experience in the area. For the past 25 years, I've been "the Black one". I now attend a predominately White church and went to predominately White, Christian elementary and middle schools. I hung out with some Christian groups in college and again..."the Black one". At the same time, I attended predominately Black churches for the first 25 years of my life, and got to see "the White one"...the converse of my experience...played out a couple of times.

Second "Why"? Because I've heard the whispers and comments and assumptions that easily could drive people away. Both groups believe their cultural take on Christianity is outlined in some unknown book in the Bible, and both go to extra effort to maintain those "scriptures", speaking their prejudices openly and alienating (sometimes I think intentionally) those that are different.

I've thought about it since I started this blog and while I didn't intend to write on race when I first started, I've always wondered how I would kick something like that off if I did. I figured...why not start with the first thing an outsider would experience entering a church? The greeting.

I think it's pretty common knowledge, but greetings (and the inherent personal space) are highly cultural. From contact-less Japanese bows (best greeting ever IMO...but I'm not a big toucher and am a bit of a germaphobe) to Latin kisses, they run the gamut. The tricky part? Perception and adjustment. If you're not used to contact, you will see higher contact cultures as invasive. If you're used to more contact, you'll see a group as cold and removed.

So yeah...the hug. If I'm wrong, correct me, but I don't think White Americans were always universally huggers. I'm sure there's some corner of the country out there that makes a habit of hugging people they've known for all of five seconds, but I'm going to say it's a relatively new development. I noticed it popping up in churches the same time I saw it in business (the day my CEO hugged me totally caught me off guard). I've accepted them as one of those things minorities learn to adapt to. Part of the whole "minority rights, majority rule" or "when in Rome" deal.

Just as I learned the cheek kiss during my days dancing salsa, I've learned to bow when visting my brother in Japan. Neither though, like the hug, will ever be comfortable or natural. I was raised in a Black family and a Black church, and hugs for me will always be reserved as a signal of familiarity...not necessarily deep, long-term or profound, but I still find it weird to hug someone I've never said more than "hi, how are you doing" to. When I started attending a Black church in Orlando during college, there were very few hugs because hugs are "special" for Black people (I'd dare to say even outside of the US). We're more handshakers until we've talked a bit.

So what's that mean? Nothing and everything. Religion and faith are highly personal and comfort is a big deal...but...

I read a piece a while back written by an organizational consultant who was called in to a women's organization who wanted to attract more racial and economic diversity. The consultant made suggestions about making meeting times that were accessible to women that worked. She recommended opening health and beauty discussions up to racially diverse products and health conditions that affected Black, Latina and Asian women. After acknowledgement of their validity and brief discussion, all suggestions were politely and softly rejected. Why? Because the board was concerned that their current members would inconvenienced and uncomfortable.

And that's what I think almost any discussion of race in the church comes down to. Comfort.

New people are uncomfortable walking into a strange church. Current parishioners are uncomfortable with demographic shifts. I've heard it all. "You know she's just here to get a Black man." "Every time I come there's more of them here." Statements of discomfort and fear of change. Since there is such a strong social component to church attendance, I don't think it's possible for an organization, or individual visitors to get past those issues unless the possibility of discomfort is accepted or even embraced as a component of Christian growth.