Christian MMA Branding and the Latest Threat to My Faith

I had one of those surreal experiences last night...one where you wake up the next day and still aren't sure quite what happened.

A few months ago, my head martial arts instructor announced that he'd be having another MMA fight--it's something he does from time to time, so nothing struck me as strange--that is until I saw the promo poster. I felt my eyebrow raise as I read references to Genesis and scripture from Romans. I don't believe that martial arts, not even of the mixed variety, are incompatible with Christianity. I do though, have reservations about the faith being used for business reasons.

I had a feeling I'd be the only one to notice this, so I began bringing it up to friends--partially because I knew a couple of friends I was going with were staunch atheists/agnostic and honestly, I didn't want a "surprise" confrontation. It struck pretty much everyone as strange, but we all brushed it off.

The Fights   
The fights were good, with the expected progression from less skilled to more, my instructor being the main event. It was odd going to fights at a church (no alcohol, which wasn't surprising), but thinking back, seeing that steeple was a warning of the oddness to come.

I know a merger when I see one. 
Think of a jackalope--an animal that latches on to your consciousness simply because of the unnatural combination. It seems silly, but only slightly, because it's never really been executed.

Welp...last night, somebody glued antlers on a rabbit.

Imagine your standard UFC event, but during breaks between matches, instead of commercials, testimonials (as expected, from Benson Henderson and Vitor Belfort) and invitations to a massive Easter service were played. Like the jackalope, I couldn't realize the the depth of conflict until I actually saw it.

It started with the ring girls. I was at a table (with my atheist friend...more on that later), so my back was to the cage. I heard one of the teens at the table call out "...check out the ring girls." I turned slowly, half-scared of what I'd see. It was a toned down version of what you'd find at any event...no bikinis, but still tights that look like they'd been painted on trailing down to high heeled sneakers.

The walk-out music was indistinguishable from any other event.

The calls to "come and visit our concession stand to be serviced by one of our ladies" gave me great pause. I don't think the word-choice was accidental.

The Effect
Being seated at a table of the non-churched, atheists and anti-church-type gave me insight that's rare for many Christians.

"Ring girls? At church?"

"Did that guy just say we could be 'serviced' at the concession stand? How much does that cost?" People expect a certain separation from Christians. Not all those expectations are wrong.

I began to feel like I was part of a bait-and-switch--the event equivalent of those fake evangelical dollars left on the ground that were really reminders that the reader was, in fact, going to hell. There were Biblical references on the flyers, yes, but most people didn't expect half a sermon after the undercard.

The Power
I sat and watched last night, and was reminded why it's unfair to blame Christianity or religion for all the ills of the world. Religion is a well-suited scapegoat indeed, and it's one, I believe, that has been heavily used to mask the spread and maintenance of power-structures (those principalities and powers and whatnot that we wrestle againt) around the world, but possibly most overtly in the United States.

I didn't put it all together until a man, who I assume was an assistant pastor, got up and proclaimed "We're in war for our freedom!"

What freedom? Who is "our"? A war with whom? I don't like vague statements like that, especially made to a crowd. It tells me the speaker is used to simply being understood. Unfortunately, I felt I knew exactly what he was saying.

As the night progressed, I started seeing the makings of a business deal. The potential for the growth of a Christian-branded MMA league. Its target market would be keen on vague mentions of "Jesus" and "Freedom" and women in bottoms so tight you can see the outline of their glutes, and burgers and punching and loud music and the idea of "being serviced." It was in that moment I knew I was not in their target demographic.

My Faith
As I drove home, I prayed, asking God if I'd failed him in not speaking out at people being upset that they'd been "tricked" into taking Bibles home...if I'd somehow fallen short at living out his calling that night.

I'm still asking that question.

I am though, glad I got to talk to a friend about my faith and its practice, and her experiences with church. It was a positive, but I'm not one to dismiss all the fault I saw because I had one, encouraging experience.

This story from Ravi Zacharias seems worth reposting, as it explains why today, I feel so much fear in engaging with organizational Christianity again. Though I have more clarity in navigating those waters, it's a concern that was reinforced last night.

"I remember well in the early days of my Christian faith talking to a Hindu. He was questioning the strident claims of the followers of Christ as being something supernatural. He absolutely insisted “conversion was nothing more than a decision to lead a more ethical life and that in most cases it was not any different to those claims of other ‘ethical’ religions.” So far, his argument was not anything new. But then he said something that I have never forgotten, and often reflect upon: “If this conversion is truly supernatural, why is it not more evident in the lives of so many Christians that I know?” His question is a troublesome one. After all, no Buddhist claims a supernatural life but frequently lives a more consistent one. The same pertains to many of other faiths. Yet, how often the so-called Christian, even while proclaiming some of the loftiest truths one could ever express, lives a life bereft of that beauty and character."

An odd reminder...

I woke up today with a scary, familiar feeling. It seems like the infection might be back. 

The first infection was potentially life-threatening, and life changing...it spurred me on to try my first entrepreneurial venture. I sat, profoundly worried about my soaring temperature, when I experienced a sudden stillness, and a reminder that it was happening for me. Today, 2 months after being laid off and 1 day after hearing back from my first potential consulting client, I'm sitting here, face swollen, worried about the return of the klebsiella.

I'm reminded though, that I need to trust God. I've been worried about income and career and becoming a consultant, but whatever's growing in my face has been a reminder of how important sitting back, and trusting is...so as I ride this new wave of entrepreneurship, without a church home yet, I'm reminded of the importance of prayer...and of checking my temperature regularly. 

Sandwiches vs Bus Passes: One of Life's Greatest Dilemas

I didn't think it would ever happen, but I was finally laid off. It's been years...I'd devoted huge chunks of this blog to it. I'd written and reflected so much that other sites had picked up my story..but if finally happened

I heard a few condolences, which struck me as strange because personally I've been relieved. The hard part now, is being genuinely thankful and seeing being let go as the blessing it is. It's been easy to be glad I'm free, glad I got a severance and happy I'm away from some toxic people...happy I already had projects in the works, but am I thankful? A little, but honestly, if the circumstances were less tilted in my favor, I don't think I'd be feeling quite as awesome. I'd still be scared and likely having quite a few freak-out prayers a day. I got a good reminder what all that means last week.

I met a friend for lunch and after dropping her off, cut through a parking lot to avoid construction on a main road. I rode past a dumpster and saw a man in there digging. He was thin, disheveled--it wasn't too big a leap to think he was homeless. Now, here I'd like to tell you that I stopped and offered him my leftover half a sandwich. I didn't. I drove right on past and on my way home.

I didn't make it too far though...the magnitude of my selfishness hit me, so I circled back through construction and rush-hour traffic, kicking myself for not doing the right thing the first time. Well I found the guy again next to the same dumpster and asked if he were hungry. He asked if I had money I could give him. I'm personally not to big on giving money directly to people unless I'm specifically moved in the situation, so I asked him again if he wanted food. Again, he asked if I had some cash to help him get a bus pass. I could feel myself climbing on my high horse. I asked one more time if he was sure he didn't want anything to eat. He asked what I had and I gave him my Cuban sandwich.

I drove away thinking "man...that sandwich was good. I could have kept it and saved myself some gas." But then...then I saw myself. I saw how quickly I'd forgotten that the man actually appeared hungry. I saw how quick I was to forget that what people fight and push and strive for isn't always what they need. It was quite possible that man needed food more than money, even if the words didn't come out of his mouth--kind of like how I'd lived years needing peace more than a job, and had been too weak to just quit a position that was killing my health and happiness, and take what God had already blessed me with.

Many times I've been in positions where I needed a sandwich but was busy asking for a bus pass.

Back and Doing the Entrepreneur Thing

I haven't posted in a while. I've been wandering a bit spiritually and honestly, didn't want to share too much of that here. I've left my church of eight years...it was hard, but necessary in sparing myself the bitterness that comes from being an outsider in an insider congregation. I've tasted that before in staying too long in the church I was raised. I know not to make that mistake of fear again.

That said, things are quite bright! My job has degraded from bad to saddeningly ludicrous. I've had to question and revisit my sense of self, my identity as a "worker" and an organizational participant to survive. Through all these years, I've been blessed not only with the drive, idea, resources and emotional motivation (I'm kinda done with the word "passion"...it's a bit played isn't it?) to start, and sustain a teeny-tiny business. That is what I'm going to write on, at least for a while.

Christian entrepreneurship is strange. I'd prefer to call myself an Entrepreneurial Christian because honestly, I see what the Church does with business. I see how it, and religious groups have picked up the very Western attitude of businessman-as-savior and dislike it. I dislike it precisely because I know it. My MBA studies were warmer and fuzzier than most, but business is the applied science of people, and science is inherently cold and calculated.

My business is also in the world. There is nothing inherently "churched" about it. I deal with Buddhists and Atheists and pan-theists on a daily basis...getting in their heads, talking their ideas of community and watching how they deal with people. Somehow, I've found encouragement in my faith as a Christian, not just as a "good person", but as a Christian, in working with them. I've also met believers so amazing it makes my heart sing.

It's been hard...and amazing. I see more difficult decisions, more scary steps, more emotional ups and downs coming...but that's part of the deal...and I cannot thank God enough for that moment, when, in a moment of panicked threat to my health (spurred on by my doctors warning that a bacterial infection I had could kill me in a few days), he reached it, blew away the fog of my fears, and reminded me, how scary my own good can sometimes be. 

Celibacy outside of the church

A close Christian friend of mine came out to me years ago. Not as gay, but as asexual. She talked of her challenges of not wanting sexual contact, and the expectations of that even within the church. Another friend of mine just sent me this article about Tim Gunn coming out as asexual and the fact that he hasn't had sex in 29 years.  I was floored by the reactions. He was "gross" and unnatural. I'm still in disbelief. How is someone gross for not having sex? Am I revolting because I'm sitting here right now just typing?

The whole discussion made me think back to what she dealt with...feeling like she had to be in a relationship with a sexual component because of social pressures...feeling like she had to be in a relationship at all because of church (and social) pressures...not knowing how to navigate advances from men, Christian or otherwise. It reminded me of how shallow the discussion of sexuality is, both inside and outside the Church. 

1 in 5 non-Christians don't personally know any Christians.

That stat came from this article on Christianity Today. Their conclusion as to why? Existing populations don't reach out into new communities.

We're just too comfortable. Too comfortable in our habits and our celebrations. Too comfortable in the kinds of parties we throw and the language we use. Too comfortable in our friendships and our relationships. This is why that statistic is what it is. Christians in the US have the unique blessing of living in a country that has not only the legal and social framework needed to breakdown the ugly, separatist nature of humanity, but also immigration patterns that create environments ripe for interaction...but most of us stay comfortable. We squander the opportunity for people to see what the life of a person working out their faith looks like up close, on a day to day, human level.

I read quite a bit of Seth Godin and he talks about the "lizard brain" a lot. It's that part of your brain that wants food, shelter, that second slice of pizza when you're on a diet. It's the one that keeps you from starting an exercise program, speaking in public or taking a leap into an uncomfortable new project. That's...all that's going on here.  

It's not about sex.

I really didn't think I'd be back to writing about singleness, but blogging is funny.

I went to a private school up through 8th grade. We had all the talks about no sex before marriage and STDs and teenage pregnancy. Twenty years later in life and the discussion around sex for single adults doesn't seem much more sophisticated. I've seen rejections of the idea that the Bible prohibits sex before marriage, and thankfully, have read more personal discussions of the reality of chastity. Still though, when I think of actual, applicable advice in navigating potentially sexual relationships, I'm not coming up with much advice...sad, because married and committed folk could likely benefit from a more honest discussion too.

I train in a martial art. Brazilian jiu jitsu to be exact. If you talk to anyone that's stuck with it a while, they'll mention the difficulty, the physical closeness, MMA, but universally, you'll hear about the bonds. Father to son, woman to woman, stranger to stranger, everyone mentions how training has helped them connect with a spouse, reconnect with a child or find a new or second family. None of that is accidental. BJJ, in all its closeness and difficulty, provides an environment of physical and emotional openness that fosters fast bonding. Safety+Vulnerability=Connection. It's just how humans work. It's why people in this photographer's experiment felt closer after just ten minutes of posing together. It happens even with people you don't like.

The sport is 90% male, so as a single, heterosexual female of reproductive age, all of that has created some interesting circumstances--particularly with three guys on my team. Like I mentioned before, BJJ puts you in a position where you develop a physical, non-sexual as well as an emotional intimacy with your training partners. You learn to listen to their breath and heartbeat to read their physical state and intent. I still remember the first time I sat with my ear on a teammate's bare chest, listening to his breath, trying to decipher when he might attack. I've come to accept that they squeeze, grab and touch all the parts of my body that I hide and accentuate with clothing. The bodily functions of gas, odor, sweat, bleeding, drool, menstruation, shedding hairs...they're all out there and everyone has to accept them, and the vast majority of the time, it's done in acceptance. It's all honestly one big study in breaking down cultural norms. There is no personal space. Respectfulness comes from behavior, not so much from restraining bodily processes. You watch each other get angry, frustrated, cry, lose, win, fall down, get back up, and again, and almost always do so with an attitude toward personal growth. You're left, stripped down of all sophistication and pretense, to be beaten down and humbled, again and again; and in that humility, accepted, again and again. It is almost impossible to do that...to be vulnerable and hurt and then met with safety and acceptance, and not connect with someone. Which brings us back to the three guys.

Four years into training and I haven't been involved with anyone at the gym. (It's advice I give to any woman training, regardless of her attitudes toward sex because, if you want to continue training in an already difficult and delicate environment, sex makes things tricky.) That said, sexual intimacy is just the icing on the cake. Things can go WAY awry before then...

• Hot Guy: No need to beat around the bush...this is the guy that EVERYONE notices. Not one straight woman in the gym, single, married or otherwise, hasn't commented on his physique. I remember when I first signed up and saw him walking across the parking lot...he has an intensity about him that's almost audible. He is very alpha and I noticed him noticing me. I decided immediately that this would not be an issue--not "I won't sleep with this guy" but instead, "I will not interact with him on a level that conveys interest". So no flirting, kidding, playful touching. The third class, I was working technique on the mat and heard a loud "snap". I looked up and saw him, just having whipped a towel, standing in his underwear, staring at me intensely. Considering the environment, that's not quite as out of place as it sounds, but his message was clear. Didn't matter though. Didn't matter that he was single. My lines were drawn well before he decided to flaunt his abs. Friendship happens though, and today, we talk, both at the gym and outside, but that's it. I've learned to not be so extreme as to not connect with men who I may be wary of, but I know the lines.  
• Married Guy: He's basically Hot Guy, but taller, more muscular and with a more engaging personality. Everybody loves him. I was instantly attracted to him, but kept my distance...not because of some extreme holiness, I just know that you never know the circumstances of anyone in a gym. A couple of months after he started training, he awkwardly introduced me to his wife. I'm very glad he did, because while he may be married, his door is quite open. Men who aren't directly open to cheat on their partners...you can feel that a door is closed, even if there's an attraction. I haven't known Married Guy as long, but I limit my interactions. While I'm open to having and have had long phone conversations with Hot Guy, Married Guy isn't something I can toy with on that level, precisely because there is attraction from my end too. 
• Buddy: A constant conundrum. He's not my type physically and vice versa, but he is a fellow INTJ and we clicked instantly and easily, which, for our personality type, is rare, so it results in a honeymoon of friendship. It's a relief to meet someone who thinks, feels and processes the world like you do, so you begin to share in and celebrate that relief with each other. We've spent hours on the phone discussing frustrations, food and music (he's a foodie and musician too), school, business, life and BJJ. We text literally every day. When I met him, he had a girlfriend...one I didn't like much. That aside though, I know myself and my natural penchant to playing semi-girlfriend and the personal pain that comes with that. I've managed my connection with him very carefully. When he first broke up with his girlfriend, I was reluctant to accept invitations to dinners that would have been innocuous with anyone else. They've separated again, likely permanently, but for my own sake, I didn't allow myself to be a support system. When he came to me asking advice as to whether he should stay with her, I remained neutral on the subject. I believe it's part of the reason that now, we have a viable and growing friendship. While there are still awkward moments, I very much appreciate our relationship for what it is. 

I wrote this post mostly for myself, but also because I've met many Christian women struggling with relationship statuses with the men around them. These struggles are the pre-cursors to many of the affairs, pre-marital sex, bad relationships  and out of wedlock children that the church bemoans so, but seems to be missing the mark when it comes to getting at the root of the problem. It ties in a bit to my previous post about churches not offering much emotional safety or support to single women. Without that, many women find themselves looking elsewhere for this support, and it's a difficult field to navigate. 

Churches as a safe place

I was thinking this weekend how important my gym is to me. Being single means that you definitely have to fulfill your need for safe, supportive interactions in places other than romantic relationships. For me, one of those places is my gym. One of those places is not my workplace. When there is an upset at the gym, or the guys are off because of a loss, it disturbs me. I expect safety and a measure of  support. I've come to realize I've learned not to expect that at church.

We're reading the book Boundaries in the college group, and the chapter we did last week talked of how important it is for the church to be a safe place to singles and widows/widowers. Tonight, only one girl was able to make it. She's an obvious introvert. She told me about how she was teased to the point of tears about being quiet. This just shouldn't happen. I have a lot to say on the matter, but I think it's all summed up by saying that churches don't spend enough time teaching/encouraging people to be decent and not be bullies. It shows in our behavior both inside, and outside of the church walls. 

American Christian Privilege and 33 Examples

I ran across the list at the bottom of 33 examples of Christian privilege in the US (I believe it was from the Christian Left). I'm not gonna lie...I hear Christians in the US complain of their disenfranchisement and how they're the only group that can be ridiculed without penalty and it sticks in my craw...mostly because I run into much more discomfort from being Black or an introvert or a woman than I do from being Christian. I've said before that this is possibly because Black people are expected to be Christians in the US, so I'm "normal", but even having distanced myself quite thoroughly from the Black Church, I still have the benefit of ubiquitous Christian advantages.

I've been reminded of this lately in two recent outings to restaurants. Mind you, I don't live in the Bible belt. I live in South Florida where "only" 78% of people describe themselves as Christian. I lead a weekly Bible study at a local Panera Bread. It's next to a Planned Parenthood and, until recently, a Starbucks. I'd say that qualifies the area as pretty liberal. In one night, we ran into two separate Bible study groups holding meetings in the same restaurant. We still see one of those groups on a regular basis. Then, just last night, I had my first trip to Chipotle with the agility coach at my gym. Next to us were two men discussing ministry and missions. I guarantee you that I've never seen this happen with any other religion. I feel much more accepted in the US for my faith, than I do for my skin color, and if that changes, so be it. I'll have to grow to another opportunity to "count it all joy".

I hate to say it, but I really think Christians in the US are spoiled, and that all the hand wringing isn't so much about a rejection of God, but more discomfort in the rejection of culture. In Googling that stat on Palm Beach County, I ran across this article, in which, they responded to the 78% with this...

What does this mean about your life as a Christian...?  The obvious answer is that with such ungodliness around us, we must not let up.

Now...I'm a member of a minority that makes up about 12% of the population, so reading someone interpreting 78% as "only", leaves me scratching my head. I know privilege when I see it because I live in disadvantage too. I go to stores, restaurants, meetings, events (church too) frequently where I am simply the only Black person in the room. Rooms that ask me strange questions about my hair, assume I don't have a father present, that make jokes about the current President, that consider me a brunette...For me to see 12% of a room looking like me would be a cause for celebration! The teasing of Christians pales in comparison to insults I see against people of my race. I can do nothing but assume that people who find 78% to be a cause for alarm are simply used to being 100%, and that, in and of itself, is definitely privilege.

*Edit: To clarify, Christian persecution outside of the US is occurring at rising rates. I personally believe that part of that is because of the actual growth of Christianity into new areas."

I'm not saying that US is headed in a more Christian direction (I don't think it ever genuinely started on one). What I am saying, is that Christians of all races need to start embracing challenge for the blessing that it is. I firmly believe that the church suffers heavily because it has intentionally integrated culture and the traditions of men deeply into its walls, that it defends them now, and that some rejection is a good thing. I believe that is important, because I've come to be convinced that being willing to walk away from your culture is a sacrifice one must be willing to make to follow Christ...even if that culture does reference some vaguely Biblical ideas.

Oh! Those privileges...

1. You can expect to have time off work to celebrate religious holidays.
2. Music and television programs pertaining to your religion’s holidays are readily accessible.
3. It is easy to find stores that carry items that enable you to practice your faith and celebrate religious holidays.
4. You aren’t pressured to celebrate holidays from another faith that may conflict with your religious values.
5. Holidays celebrating your faith are so widely supported you can often forget they are limited to your faith (e.g. wish someone a “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Easter” without considering their faith).
6. You can worship freely, without fear of violence or threats.
7. A bumper sticker supporting your religion won’t likely lead to your car being vandalized.
8. You can practice your religious customs without being questioned, mocked, or inhibited.
9. If you are being tried in court, you can assume that the jury of “your peers” will share your faith and not hold that against you in weighing decisions.
10. When swearing an oath, you will place your hand on a religious scripture pertaining to your faith.
11. Positive references to your faith are seen dozens of times a day by everyone, regardless of their faith.
12. Politicians responsible for your governance are probably members of your faith.
13. Politicians can make decisions citing your faith without being labeled as heretics or extremists.
14. It is easy for you to find your faith accurately depicted in television, movies, books, and other media.
15. You can reasonably assume that anyone you encounter will have a decent understanding of your beliefs.
16. You will not be penalized (socially or otherwise) for not knowing other people’s religious customs.
17. Your faith is accepted/supported at your workplace.
18. You can go into any career you want without it being associated with or explained by your faith.
19. You can travel to any part of the country and know your religion will be accepted, safe, and you will have access to religious spaces to practice your faith.
20. Your faith can be an aspect of your identity without being a defining aspect (e.g., people won’t think of you as their “Christian” friend)
21. You can be polite, gentle, or peaceful, and not be considered an “exception” to those practicing your faith.
22. Fundraising to support congregations of your faith will not be investigated as potentially threatening or terrorist behavior.
23. Construction of spaces of worship will not likely be halted due to your faith.
24. You are never asked to speak on behalf of all the members of your faith.
25. You can go anywhere and assume you will be surrounded by members of your faith.
26. Without special effort, your children will have a multitude of teachers who share your faith.
27. Without special effort, your children will have a multitude of friends who share your faith.
28. It is easily accessible for you or your children to be educated from kindergarten through post-grad at institutions of your faith.
29. Disclosing your faith to an adoption agency will not likely prevent you from being able to adopt children.
30. In the event of a divorce, the judge won’t immediately grant custody of your children to your ex because of your faith.
31. Your faith is taught or offered as a course at most public institutions.
32. You can complain about your religion being under attack without it being perceived as an attack on another religion.
33. You can dismiss the idea that identifying with your faith bears certain privileges.

*8, 17 and 20 are a little weak, but the rest are spot on.

Edit: I'd like to add 34...kind of related to 15 but...if I tell someone I'm a Christian, they may form hyperbolic views, but those views are usually based on pretty accurate information, and they have a good idea of what I will and won't do (I don't get asked to things much on Sundays, people know I don't want to go to strip clubs or bars). I've seen people from other religions have to do endless explaining before people are even close to correct. 

Christians don't need heroes: Rick Warren and "Chrislam"

I'm way removed from Christian pop-culture. Like, way removed. Removed to the point where, right now, I'd like to make a reference to a band that someone mentioned and I was completely unaware of, and I can't. In all seriousness, DC Talk was the last "big" group I was aware of on the White side of American Christianity. On the Black side...Mary Mary and Donnie Mcclurkin, and I only knew about those because I dated a guy who was into them.

I'm a bit of a Luddite when it comes to pop-culture in general. I'm not up on reality TV, or car models, and as much as I like jewelry and fashion, I care more about what I'm expressing personally than I do any trend...which is why the (apparently year old) freak out over Rick Warren and "Chrislam" is difficult for me to relate to.

I sometimes feel I should be more up on trends in Christianity...I sometimes feel guilty for staring blankly at someone's excitement at getting tickets to see the newest big pastor or Christian super-group. I know Shaun King and Carlos Whittaker, but only through my personal followings of their Twitter accounts. I'm starting to feel less guilty for my distance, because I don't feel I lose much connection to other Christians by being off-trend. And watching the Rick Warren deal, I think there is more to be lost by following them too closely. The disappointment I read in just a few blog responses was, well, disappointing. It reminded me of my recent disappointment in reading up on G.K. Chesterton's treatment of African's and Jews in his work. That was a good reminder though...if I'm feeling disappointment at realizing that another human is, well, human, I've started losing perspective.

I've been struggling with this a lot lately. Watching my Facebook feed and the stark contrast of the reactions of leaders and friends to the striking down of DOMA...it makes me sad...sad and tired...not because these things shouldn't be addressed or discussed by the church, but that I know that it is issues like these that give birth to denominations in the church...something I think we should be anything but proud of.

Christians don't need heroes or flags or teams. We have a savior. I'm coming to believe that the Tim Tebows, Rick Warrens and T.D. Jake's of the world are just crutches-important and useful when you need them, but for the most part are just distractions from a deeper and richer perspective of Jesus. 

Ethics and Business

The talk of business ethics is a strange one. You have to believe that cold, nebulous organizations can carry human traits to believe that a business can be ethical. I personally don't in the same way I don't believe a country can have a faith.

I mull over the concept of America being a Christian nation a lot...mostly because I hear the phrase so much. Every day, I believe it less...not because of what's going on today, but because I simply cannot see how a nation founded on the murder of natives and theft of Africans can ever call itself Christian while taking any genuine consideration for what being Christian actually means...and that's regardless of how many copies of the 10 Commandments are posted on school walls.

Seth Godin recently wrote a piece on business ethics that really hit home for me...not just in the discussion of America as a Christian nation, but in the more personal and applicable realm of my work and purchasing life. You can read it here, but here are some of my favorite quotes.

"It's not business, it's personal."

"only people can have ethics"

"You either do work you are proud of, or you work to make the maximum amount of money."

"Business is too powerful for us to leave our humanity at the door of the office."

...and I thought it was just Mark Gungor

My mother told me about this show she heard on Moody today. She endures the "Family Life" segment to listen to Chuck Swindoll.

I thought it was only Mark Gungor encouraging people to marry ASAP because of their urges. Looks like I was wrong. I don't even know what to say to this. The glaring straw man of career-hungry women who are actively putting off marriage and family to establish themselves is just insulting. I can say this honestly and after knowing a lot of women in different kinds of churches...I haven't met one woman who wasn't open to the prospect of marriage to a decent man when God brought it into her life. Not one woman have I met has turned down a relationship because of school or work or fun or whatever. I'm calling straw woman.

I...can't...the logic is so glaringly backwards I'm almost at a loss for words. I do not see the sense in teaching teenagers abstinence-only sex education but then telling them, as they get older and more in control of their hormones, that they should marry the first thing they see sitting next to them. That's the very definition of mixed messages.

Perhaps the scariest part though, is the lesson it teaches. To tell someone to marry as early as possible teaches them not only that you cannot grow as a Christian in the strength to manage sexual desires, but actively gives them an excuse to cheat when, 10 years into their marriage, they meet someone they find more attractive.

All I see is a complete unwillingness to address the problems that young people are bringing to the church. Instead of confronting the difficulties of life today (with advice they'll need in the future if they marry), they're hearkening back to a time when things were "better" ("for whom?" I always wonder) and forcing behavior that was simply a by-product of survival as if it were the root of it all.

Couple all this with Pat Robertson's recent endorsement of male infidelity, disguised in advice on being forgiving and the divorce rate being higher within the church makes 100% sense. Put the two together and I'm beginning to think it's all actively engineered to get men children and wives as early as possible and allow them all the sexual freedom they desire once they've found a woman to be faithful to them and keep their house. 

Why kids leave church...

I love this. I was talking attrition in Brazilian jiu jitsu with a black belt friend the other day (it's estimated around 90% at the lowest level alone) and the conversation turned the way it normally does...two people who haven't quit guessing about the motivations of those who have. Our community does it a lot, but I think churches do it more. That's when I saw this post this morning, I was elated. Someone did the leg work of talking to kids who'd been raised in the church and left. Check out the complete article here, but here is the summarized list.


10. The Church is "Relevant." (too relevant apparently)
9. They never attended church to begin with.
8. They get smart.(groups outside the church treated them as intelligent beings)
7. They were sent out unarmed
6. Faith was represented to them as little more than feelings
5. Kids experience faith as something they "do" and that do "can be found places other than the church"
4. They found better feelings elsewhere
3. They got tired of pretending to be happy
2. Their diet of Law has condemned them
1. Church is presented as a place to learn life principles and "you don't need a crucified Jesus for that"

I'm not Evangelical (though I do attend an Evangelical church), but seeing anyone ask these real questions of the people who know...I find it heartening, especially the comment section.

Christians attacking Christians

Warning...Free flow post ahead...

I need a new title as a Christian...and I mean that. I no longer want to be associated with the cultural norm of Christianity in America. The religion has been co-opted by people who operate on principles that I not only despise, but that I believe are un-Biblical and inherently contradictory. First it was complaints about Easter not being widely recognized enough...you know...the way the way Christmas is...as if they want to start the fight to put Christ back in Easter too. Now, there's an uproar at my alma mater.

Let me start this off by saying that I have little nice to say about FAU's professors. I met some great ones, yes, but when it came to dealing with even non-tenured faculty and some of their ridiculous behavior, it left a horrible taste in my mouth. So...

A couple of weeks ago, a story was reported about a professor telling his students to write "Jesus" on a piece of paper and stomp on it. It was said that the student refused and was suspended. The professor then started receiving threats to his safety from groups, both religious and political.

I understand there is a bias against higher education among Conservatives in this country, but just on the surface, this story was suspect and I don't get the knee jerk reaction...students aren't suspended for not participating in exercises. They just aren't. Failed? Yes, but not suspended. I listened (and watched) people rail against liberal bias in education. I've heard it since my days in a Southern Baptist school...public schools will teach you nothing but evolution in science class and make you hate Jesus in English and History.

...and then I went to a public high school...and a public university. We covered evolution...maybe three times in those eight years. The rest was that huge chunk of science that has nothing to do with our origins. I went to See you at the Pole, sang spirituals in chorus and in college, got credit for a six week study of the book of James run by a minister that included prayer. Jesus was never referred to as "just a great man". Perhaps I would have heard more if my studies were less scientific and more based on the humanities...perhaps. Right or wrong though, I've learned to question the cries of victimization of the American church and their demonetization of an educational system that they once so beautifully participated in and were fundamental in creating.

So today, more information was released about the professor. Turns out he's Christian...not just I-used-to-go-to-church-as-a-kid Christian, but he openly claims Jesus as his "lord and savior". Turns out the exercise was to write "Jesus" on a piece of paper and then step (not stomp) on it. Why? The exercise assumes that the students will hesitate and then discussion begins about the meaning of words. I am sure, that if a pastor asked their congregation to do the same, there would be no complaints. I can see Ravi Zacharias, who constantly speaks on the importance of words having meaning, using just such an illustration and Christians marveling at his wisdom...precisely because the foundation of the exercise is the widely perceived importance of Jesus.

The embattled student? Well, he refused, as was his right. He then confronted the professor after class, punching his fist into his opposite hand, and telling the professor that he wanted to hit him. He was suspended for physically threatening faculty...as he should have been.

I know, very well, that there are powerful swaths of movement in the US to push God and Jesus out of our lives. I know probably better than most who identify as Christian because I spend so much time in circles with bents toward the academic and the intellectual and the foreign...but I will tell you that an atheist comparing God to Santa Claus isn't one tenth as painful or offensive as a Christian who has forgotten his principles for the sake of retaliation. (John 18 and the story of Peter and Malchus has some application here) I will tell you that the lack of peace that so many Christians flaunt is hammering that last nail into the coffin of the American church. Ask people why they don't go to church or why they stopped and I know, from personal experience, that the reason isn't evolution or education or porn. It's us.

I watched comments on the situation at FAU and of course I saw it. I always see it so I knew it was coming...the three or four individuals who were observing the Christians. The three or four who asked, quite calmly, why those claiming to be Christian were the worst behaved in the conversation. Not the caricatures of the bitter, rude atheist or the mocking agnostic. These were people who were just observing. Maybe they had already made up their minds and hearts about Christianity, but I know that not everyone reading those conversations were.

I very firmly believe Christians, in our unwillingness to call out the bad behavior of those we worship with, are the central reason Christianity is becoming less and less relevant in this country. All these issues that we see as the "cause" of God's removing his blessings from us? I believe that they ares symptoms of a country of Christians digging in to its own pride and superiority generations ago, and unrepentantly wallowing in them today. 

Christians: The Popular Kids

It hit me, REALLY hit me today...Easter...that the American church is reeling not from the pain of the loss of holiness of its home country, not from figuring out what it means to be Christian, but instead what it means to be "American". I think I further cemented this realization watching the debate on Gay marriage and the sheer panic that some (definitely not all) Christians are experiencing. There are basically two reasons to freak out in this situation: People haven't accepted that God is in control, or there's a different crisis of public identity going on. I have come to believe, primarily due to the complete absence of the discussion by those against marriage equality of discussing applying Biblical marriage principles to heterosexual unions and couples, that the Bible is not the true motivation behind the religious Right's fight to legally institute semi-Biblical marriage.

 Being what most would describe as a progressive Christian, and one with an intellectual bent at that, I am constantly on guard of trying to rationalize my way to God, be it because of natural tendencies or some latent need to not feel at odds with the smart-kids. There's always a teeny part of me that worries that I'm missing the mark when it comes to public application of morality.

Today, I ran across this quote by Billy Graham, which surprised me a bit (and not just because of its contrast to his son's recent efforts to re-write his father's history).

“I don’t think there’s any conflict at all between Science today and the Scriptures. I think we have misinterpreted the Scriptures many times and we’ve tried to make the Scriptures say things they weren’t meant to say. I think that we have made a mistake by thinking the Bible is a scientific book. The Bible is not a book of science. The Bible is a book of Redemption, and of course, I accept the Creation story. I believe that God did create the universe. I believe that God created man, and whether it came by an evolutionary process and at a certain point He took this person or being and made him a living soul or not, does not change the fact that God did create man….whichever way God did it makes no difference as to what man is and man’s relationship to God.” (from a book that's going on my reading list)

He said this back in 1997 and while I was in college and could have easily missed it, I don't remember any huge uproar over it...but then again, Christianity still felt popular back then and there was much less questioning of what it meant to be an American.

...and I'm just adding this video because it's something I know I'll want to come back and watch later, and blogs are good for that.

Profanity...the next level...

I've never been one to use much profanity. To me, it's like someone giving you little pushes while you're talking...you're not hurt, but you're likely distracted and eventually, it could really tick you off.

When I was little, I received three distinct messages about the use of profanity--1) It's a legitimate part of speech used to convey aggression or anger...if you don't want to convey those two, don't use it. 2) It's frequently perceived as being lower class. 3) It's used by people when they don't know how to properly express themselves. Those three different approaches to the use of a part of a language (emotional, class signals and personal intelligence) very much shaped how I use it today. All in all, I generally don't.

At the same time though, "gosh" and "darn" make me feel a bit too Leave-it-to-Beaverish and are honestly short-cuts to saying what I really feel, so I've been making an effort to actually express instead of just emote...both in my spoken life and on the internet. Gotta up the English game. 

Anti-institutionalism and the Church

I was talking to my father the other day, who mentioned that one of the main reasons young people leave the church is because of evolution being taught in schools. This idea--the thought that the great forces of the American educational system are pulling people in droves from the pews--is one that's come to ring a bit misguided on my ears. I honestly don't believe most people think that deeply about their existence for evolution vs. creation to be the make or break decision that keeps people in bed on Sunday mornings.

I was talking to a friend at the gym yesterday--one who used to attend church but no longer does--about the concept. He said he didn't go because he never left with anything useful. I really had to think about that, since so many people I know who no longer attend church...well...they're not doing a lot of deep thinking about the origins of life. Most people are working their way through every day life the best they can and a result of that in the US has left a large number of people turned against institutions, all institutions. 

It started back in the 60s and 70s. People stopped trusting business, government, the police, the church, marriage...the list goes on. I've been reading Chris Hayes' Twilight of the Elites, and well, I think he's hit on something. The the moral leaders, the sports heroes, politicians, doctors, lawyers, scientists, teachers,  priests, police officers, ambassadors...they've all let us down. The bond has been broken and I doubt will be easily rebuilt, if it can be at all.

That lack of trust in the institution and the very concept of hierarchy is what I believe the church is seeing manifested in its dropping attendance numbers. These days I don't believe most people will even get close enough to the church to reject its teachings. They mistrust the structure itself--a structure I don't believe is even necessary to the faith (especially considering the structure of the early church). 

The big problem there though, is what the alternative is. I've had this discussion with my best friend before--both of us being single, childless and unmarried. Society, religious or secular, has no connection points for us. No home base. We are not married, we are not mothers and therefore we are not. The church also reflects that. I don't know if any society has been able to promote connection based on anything deeper than demographic check boxes. I believe most societies actually discourage it for the sake of their own preservation.

So yeah...no one knows how to answer our question and our question is spreading into the world of the non-singles. How do people bond if marriage, procreation, family, home and career are no longer a trustworthy? Until that question is answered and the answer applied within church walls, those outside the church, those coming up as children in the church and those considering leaving will find little reason for connection beyond commandment. 

"How Christians Should Vote"

So the article from my previous post was the impetus I needed to finally download Tony Evans' How Christians Should Vote. I'm really torn as to whether the book is great, or more political propaganda in palatable packaging.

This book highlights a recent revelation I've been having around the importance of subtext. In this case, I really can't say there's anything I disagree with in his advice on how Christians should approach the voting process. He considers voting and civil involvement a Biblically mandated social responsibility (I've had a couple of friends insist that Christians should remove themselves from the process altogether to remain uncorrupted in God's sight). He insists that character matters and that conduct outside of the political office cannot be 100% separated from conduct within. He advocates allegiance to God over party (my non-party affiliated self swelled with pride at that point) and many times explains that we are to carefully and prayerfully weigh issues and candidates individually. So yeah...all stuff I agree with.

...still...there were two points that stuck in my craw. First, he makes a point...points rather, of clearly laying out the demons of socialism...the sloth and reliance it can create...the worship of government over God that it may grow to foster. Yet, there is no mention of the potential dangers of capitalism (the word "capitalism" appears 0 times and when something isn't named, it's much less likely to be critiqued in the reader's mind) in potential for self-worship and its fertilization of greed. This leaves the faint and lasting impression that systems of socialism, fascism and communism are "not of God" and the alternative is. Considering that all man-made systems of government and economics are subject to the same failings we posses, I found this a bit (or possibly highly) telling. I was glad though, to not see him fall back on the cop-out of touting theocracy as the preferred system of government. We know that would be preferable, but God has left us to rule ourselves and we must make decisions, difficult though they may be.

The second...I got the feeling that Dr. Evans is reaching when he claims that "A constitutional republic is the biblical form of government God gave to Moses." He goes on to explain that the founding fathers emulated this system when setting up the American government because they wanted a government founded on the will of the people, but subject to a constitution which in turn was interpreted by leaders guided by God. He then explains that in Exodus 18:17-27, Moses set up a "bottom-up system" of rule where the people had representatives who were lead by God. This all follows his stating that "democracy" isn't mentioned in our founding documents (neither are "Jesus" or "capitalism" by the way) and how democracy can easily result in 51% "mobocracy" in a section labeled "The Tyranny of the 51%".

The concept had me curious though, so I had to check out Exodus. It's quite apparent that Moses selected the representatives, leaving this system, from what I can tell, anything but bottom-up. It was inherently top-down...from God, to Moses, to the representatives, to the people. Which left me wondering how this system could be described by anyone as a government "of the people". This is where I think, Dr. Evans ran into the conundrum that faces so many American Christian conservatives. Much of the Bible points to top-down systems of governing...from the spheres of the personal, to the home to the church to society as a whole. The logical progression here, is to monarchs and popes--people supposedly appointed and lead by God...the very things America's founders fled. But, no one west of the Atlantic wants to say that the Catholics and the English got it right, or worse, that American and Protestant ideals of government are no more effective or Godly in the long run.

I am no huge fan of democracy...I see too much stupidity in individual decision making, too much prejudice, too little thought and too much laziness of character to be one...BUT, I do still believe that, if we are to govern ourselves, that all of us should have a say. I believe democracy should play a part in our governmental processes. What put me off most in his critique of democracy though, is that it implies that God's power is somehow limited if we choose democracy...as if a choice in government is our way of giving God permission to influence our political lives.

As I was writing this, I ran across a statement that I missed. Dr. Evans says, "...the church could influence through uniting and offering up its own party candidate". I find the idea of the church uniting almost humorous in a country that houses more that 40,000 Christian denominations. I also find it a bit puzzling as to how a candidate would be selected considering that relatively few issues of government are actually moral ones--but that's a topic for another day.

My stuck craw boils down to this--while Evans outright says that God is neither a Democrat nor a Republican, his writing is bent quite squarely against the central tenants of the Democratic party--and so I have a hard time calling this an even-handed book on anything but a superficial level (perhaps that wasn't his goal). It's definitely a good read though, especially for Christians that tend to be 1-issue voters or plagued by conscience when they don't give in to moral bullying around one or two fad-issues. 

"Why God Isn't Blessing the American Church"

That's the title of this interview with Tony Evans that I just finished reading. It addresses his book, Oneness Embraced and his take on the issue of racial segregation and confirms something that's been eating at me for a while now...that racial and cultural division within the church is nothing to be taken lightly. This answer jumped out at me the most...

CL: Do you really believe that God’s going to postpone His blessing and work in the church because of our lack of unity?

TE: Absolutely.  That’s a fundamental principle.  He does this in a number of places in Scripture:  Ephesians 2, Ephesians 3:10.  So the oneness issue is not a sideline issue.  It’s not even a sideline issue in the family.  God says that when the husband and wife are divided, tell the husband, “Don’t bother to pray.”  God’s not listening (1 Peter 3:7).

So the issue of unity has everything to do with God’s absence or presence.  God first checks with the church house before He does anything with the White House.  We want things to be better in the country, and God can’t even get them better on Sunday morning.  And one of the major divisions is racial, so in light of all this, I think that this was the time to make a big call for unity.

This is why I believe God has ingrained the church so deeply in American history. Not because we are any more holy than any other nation, but because we are natural reformers...because we tackle the big, ugly questions of human existence head on. Because we do not settle for the oft-misguided comfort of tradition and custom. I believe the political and racial division in this country is an opportunity for the church to show the world what a real miracle is.

What I like most about the interview, and what I hope the book expounds on (just downloaded...woo!), is actual action steps. I've heard people lament the segregation of the church, but the discussion usually stops there--and that's because most of us are happy with it. Not just ok. Happy.

If you ask most people, their peer group is full of people like them on some level. People like being around other people like them. It makes them feel normal, accepted and safe. That's important, but at some point, both in and out of the church, a maturing person and Christian has to walk past satisfaction with comfort and aim for something higher.

I personally have an abnormally diverse peer group. Race, age, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, income, intelligence level, belief in God, physical ability...but I have one big bias...introverts. I LOVE people like me on that spectrum. Extroverts ..I can say all I want about understanding their usefulness, but that comes from little more than half-hearted rationalization and knee-jerk efforts to be inclusive so that I feel even-handed and...nice. I don't enjoy being around extreme extroverts. Not even smart ones, or Black ones, or single ones or...you get it. I have a few friends that are extrovert-lite, but no one I know is extreme. That is a failing on my part. I'm not saying I should be able to totally revamp the contacts list in my phone, but Jesus should be enough and I should, as a mature Christian, be able to get past my own biases against the personality type and form genuine bonds. I've just met a new VERY extroverted Christian friend and, well, we'll see. That though, ties into the comment Dr. Evans made that integrating the church isn't about congregations holding events together, but instead about people extending themselves into new types of relationships in their individual lives.

I'll admit one of the saddest things in my life. I find more connection, more acceptance, more comfort in the world of Brazilian jiu jitsu than I do and ever have in the church--any church, Black or White. I believe quite firmly that that is because the primary focus of those that train is training. It is dedication to the art. The church, with its deeply entrenched history of absorbing the faults of the world (it didn't start with attitudes toward sex) does not have the luxury of a brutally honest or physically and emotionally painful acceptance process. There is no filter for the church doors...as I believe it should be. The issue there though is, that people stay for reasons that have nothing to do with the faith.

I know that I am able to tolerate being an outlier because I've been conditioned to make my peace with discomfort. I have no expectations of feelings of belonging in any sphere accept personal relationships. I have always, and likely will always, feel like an alien observer. I don't expect this to come easily to others though, because my life has been a rare one, possibly even moreso because of my personality type than my racial and cultural experiences.

So yes, I do, very much agree with the words Tony Evans has written and I'm hoping reading his book will help me find some peace in this area, because right now, I have little.

Why Believers shouldn't be too quick to claim America as a Christian nation...

I believe this applies to both Left and Right...the Right seems to have romanticized a period in time when America committed some of its greatest shames and the Left seems oblivious to the diluted form of Christianity they welcome in under the guise of Love.

I've reached a point in my life where I'm probably more exposed to White American culture, at least proportionately, than ever before. While I may have been more intimately entwined as a child, I do not have the large amounts of time spent in Black American church and community organizations that I did through high school and even in my predominately White college. If there is one thing I know, Blacks and Whites have a profoundly different relationship with America. As a Black Christian, I feel hesitation in claiming America as  a Christian nation--keep in mind that is entirely different than having a desire that it reflect Christian values or be blessed by God. I have no illusions that saying something is "Christian" changes anything in God's eyes. The phrase itself honestly never crosses my mind. I have no pains when someone claims that "America is no longer a Christian nation", and that's likely because I would have had to believe the phrase wholeheartedly to begin with. I know that the majority of the founders were, yes, Christian, but you have the secular humanist and deists of Jefferson and Franklin. Our founding documents refer to God, and, as far as I know, make no mention of Jesus. We can hardly claim 100% Christian lineage.

I sometimes think of how we look in the eyes of others--how could I proudly say to someone from a foreign nation...or from this one for that matter, that America has always been "a Christian nation" in the face of the atrocities of Slavery or the brutality of the American Civil War? The mistreatment of workers, children included, for the sake of business during our Industrial Revolution? Yes, every country has its failings and even the redeemed aren't perfect, but some churches' participation in, and silence during these events, is a different, deeper issue.  Plus, many a nation has seen prosperity with much less affiliation with Christ--I am no follower of the prosperity gospel and won't apply it any more to history than I will my personal life.

I really wonder if either camp, Left or Right understands what it really means to lazily utter blanket statements like "America is a Christian Nation" or "America is becoming more Christ-like", while all those who are not believers plainly see the atrocities of war, slavery, abuse and dissension that were going on internally during a time they revere so greatly--and also see how miserable and joyless we are growing in our prosperity and "freedom". I will not deny that America's best and most positively transformative leaders have been born out of the country's strong Christian roots--I find the story of Abraham Lincoln's parents' meeting awe-inspiring...I will not deny that the church has been instrumental, if not catalytic in combating some of the country's greatest sins--but it is careless and damaging to the faith to claim the ubiquitous presence and favor of God in relation to other nations. I do think though, that for me, it all comes down to the fact that I draw a harsh line between the concepts of "church-going" and "Christian", and that I believe that individuals only can be Christian.

I sometimes wonder if the evidence we see of decrease in humane behavior and our falling victim to our basest animal instincts is proof we are slipping away from our Christian roots, or just the manifestation that we were holding on to them tenuously in the first place, and that is all now being brought to light.

A passage we covered in Romans 2 tonight covered what I'm feeling suscinctly. 23 You who boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? 24 As it is written: “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.”