Friday, January 28, 2011

What should churches be doing for singles?

Over the past two days, I've twice been encountered with the laments of single women in church, looking for a partner. It's something I've been sort of slow to discuss with individuals lately, because some women, when met with my views that not all women are meant to marry, that we as women frequently don't try hard enough to understand who men really are and that the "prince" doesn't exist...well...I've been met with lectures on how I don't understand women who "really want" to be married and questions as to why God doesn't want us to have the best possible in all areas of our lives, no matter how gently I've phrased myself.

There's...a lot...there...on both my end on the opposite. It got me thinking why women feel lost in church when it comes to partnering and some seem very misguided on the Bible's stance on singleness. I've only heard men quote Paul's positive writings on staying single, and I think women especially could benefit from churches making efforts to meet the needs of singles. There are a bunch, but here are what I think are the top seven needs of singles in church...

1) Insight into the lives of single people in the Bible

2) Open discussion on the Biblically acceptable dating (relating to potential mates, money, sex, etc.)

3) Community involvment: Volunteer projects, keeping open and active connections with what's going on in the community.

4) Financial guidance (too many people wait until they're married to start thinking about money)

5) Feeling like a part of the church through having more visible, active, single leaders in the church

6) Self exploration: Encouraging singles to form groups/clubs based on interests

7) Guidance in finding God's will: Prayer groups

...I also think singles should get exposure to some honest looks into marriage. Maybe sitting in on some talks from married couples, divorced people and widowed members. I've learned a lot about the process not just from watching my parents' marriage, talking to my grandmother about her first and second marriages and talking to friends. 

No comments:

Post a Comment